Over the past few weeks I've spent a lot of time here talking about why having an affair can be a fun, liberating and enormously erotic experience for any woman. It can recharge your batteries, make you feel feminine and remind you of just how desirable you are. Plus, it can be good clean fun!

But, we live in a monogamy centered culture – which is why people often ask me: “If you really feel the need to have an affair, why not just divorce your husband and simply be with the man you want to be with?”

Oh, if only it were that simple. The last thing you'd ever want to do is leave you husband for your boy toy du jour. I've known a lot of unfaithful ladies over the years and what I've seen happen time and time again is that every single one who left their husband for the man they were having an affair with ended up regretting it. And, every one who stayed with their husband is glad they did.

Years ago, Paul Simon wrote a song called “50 Ways To Leave Your Lover.” Today, I'm going to present to you, “30 Reasons Not To Leave Your Husband.”

1. Divorce is tough emotionally. No matter how giddy you feel about your new man, you'll always have a feeling that you failed at something important in life.
2. Divorce is tough financially. Do you really want to get a crappy apartment and never see the inside of Barney's again?
3. You'll hurt your husband. You married him for love. It always hurts to hurt someone you love.
4. The type of man who will have an affair with a married woman is very unlikely to make a good long-term partner.
5. You'll end up cheating on your lover. Most women are not hard wired for monogamy.
6. Eventually the sex with your lover will get just as stale as it is with your husband.
7. Your family will judge you. They may not say it to your face, but you know they will.
8. Your lover will never trust you to be faithful to him. Why should he?
9. You'll miss the sexual rush that comes with a clandestine affair.
10. When you are in an affair, you are seeing your lover only when he's at his best. If you move in with him or see him more often, you'll discover his annoying habits.
11. Other women will start talking about you behind your back – and you'll lose friends.
12. Affairs, are, by definition, fleeting. That's what makes them fun. You can't turn lead into gold.
13. When your husband gets remarried, you'll be devastated.
14. If you have children, they will suffer.
15. In general there are two types of men: Nice, stable men we want to build a life with and “bad” men we want to be ravaged by. Right now you have both. Why give one of them up?
16. As long as you have a husband, your lover will do everything he can to please you sexually and emotionally. Once he doesn't have your husband as competition anymore, he'll get lazy.
17. Your lover might dump you soon after you leave your husband. After all, there was probably a reason he choose a married woman to date, don't you think?
18. Divorce court sucks. Do you really want to be put on the stand in front of total strangers and have to talk – under oath – about your infidelity?
19. If you end up completely single, you'll be back in the meat market again. Remember what that was like the first time around?
20. Right now great sex with your lover is the most important thing in the world to you. There's nothing wrong with that. But 20 years from now you may be much more interested in the emotional stability your husband can provide than in his sexual abilities.
21. A married woman who is getting away with an affair has total freedom. A divorced woman, on the other hand, can easily become emotionally and financially dependent on her lover. This is not a good thing.
22. Even if you think you are, you are probably not really in love with your lover. Our bodies give off hormones at the beginning of a new relationship that mimic love. Our bodies are also very good at shutting down these hormones once the affair becomes stable.
23. Many women find that their desire for their husband increases quite a bit after a divorce. They also then discover that their husband is no longer interested in satisfying those desires.
24. Divorce is permanent. Your dissatisfaction with your marriage may be fleeting.
25. Married people live longer.
26. The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence. The fantasy in your mind of what it will be like to be free of your husband and with your lover all the time has nothing to do with what the reality of your situation will be.
27. You've invested a lot of time and energy into your marriage. Is it really worth throwing that away for a few orgasms a week?
28. Dealing with the logistics of a divorce will eat up a lot of your time and distract you from work, which can seriously harm your career.
29. Unless you and your lover plan to get married the day the divorce is final, you'll take a huge tax hit.
30. You'll lose a lot of your furniture and most lovers aren't worth having to deal with IKEA.

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Tags: 50 ways to leave your lover, affairs, divorce, monogamy, orgasms, paul simon